Upon arrival, I obtained use of an Earth vehicle to begin my search for suitable contacts.
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After much reconnaissance, I learned to determine the difference between an Earth dwelling and a strip mall.
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My journeys continued long into the night. I finally resorted to using the power of Fnurm to maneuver the vehicle.
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Eventually, even this got tiring. Fortunately, I spotted an Earthling entering his abode.
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It took three anal probes to determine that I had mistakenly violated a common house cat.
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Against the cat's advisements, I decided to enter the home of his masters.
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Unbeknownst to me, my activities were witnessed by a lurking presence in brightly-colored Lycra.
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I entered the home and quickly materialized a suitable gift of fresh Bnelbas and spicy Vlort.
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My first contact with an Earthling seemed harmless enough, he even showed me his collection of Shnazz.
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But things soon took a turn for the worse, as the Earthling's true goals revealed themselves.
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I bid farewell to my hungry friend, lucky to have escaped with my life.
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When I returned to my original point of contact, my feline friend had vanished.
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Had I not been phased by the human's attempt at Spork-ingestion, I might have noticed my attacker creeping up behind me.
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Suddenly I was confronted. The intimidating but colorfully-dressed stranger demanded an immediate explanation.
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Remembering the cannibalistic tendencies of this race, I decided to strike the first blow.
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This turned out to be a bad idea.
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Inadvertently, I had discovered that the strength of these creatures varies tremendously from one specimen to the next.
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I next discovered that unlike that of our home planet, the earth's gravity is a force difficult to resist.
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I managed to get myself upright as quickly as possible, but not quickly enough...
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My adversary had commandeered my vehicle, and was bearing down upon me with frightening speed.
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The results were predictably devastating.
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Before I could reconstitute, I was carted away to a strange place called "Area 51."
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All in all, it isn't so bad. I've caught up with some of my old friends here, and we spend the days knorfling and playing gloit while we await the inevitable search party.
It is not entirely clear whether the Earthlings are naturally aggressive or whether our scouts have unknowingly violated some unspoken cultural rule. Perhaps the next visitors should wear Lycra. Judging from my own experience, these entities are not yet sufficiently evolved to warrant serious attempts at contact. I recommend that we forestall their invitation to join to the Brotherhood of United Planets for an indefinite period. |
In 2003 webmaster colleague and Web405 listmom Dennis Wilen announced a project called The Spacebrothers' World Tour, in which dozens of inflatable aliens were shopped off to various locations all across the globe. Project participants endeavored to utilize these silent visitors in the creation of photographic galleries, detailing the adventures of the Spacebrothers here on planet Earth.